Monday, January 21, 2013

The Edge of Never, by J.A. Redmerski

The Edge of Never, by J.A. Redmerski
Release Date: November 13th 2012
Published by: J.A. Redmerski
Genre: New Adult
Find it on: Goodreads, Amazon

Twenty-year-old Camryn Bennett had always been one to think out-of-the-box, who knew she wanted something more in life than following the same repetitive patterns and growing old with the same repetitive life story. And she thought that her life was going in the right direction until everything fell apart.

Determined not to dwell on the negative and push forward, Camryn is set to move in with her best friend and plans to start a new job. But after an unexpected night at the hottest club in downtown North Carolina, she makes the ultimate decision to leave the only life she’s ever known, far behind.

With a purse, a cell phone and a small bag with a few necessities, Camryn, with absolutely no direction or purpose boards a Greyhound bus alone and sets out to find herself. What she finds is a guy named Andrew Parrish, someone not so very different from her and who harbors his own dark secrets. But Camryn swore never to let down her walls again. And she vowed never to fall in love.

But with Andrew, Camryn finds herself doing a lot of things she never thought she’d do. He shows her what it’s really like to live out-of-the-box and to give in to her deepest, darkest desires. On their sporadic road-trip he becomes the center of her exciting and daring new life, pulling love and lust and emotion out of her in ways she never imagined possible. But will Andrew’s dark secret push them inseparably together, or tear them completely apart?


The Edge Of Never doesn’t exactly have a very original plot, but holy mother of God, it was one hell of a ride. Did I enjoy it? Yes. At least the majority of it. Did it have some epic, epic fails? Yes. And that’s why some parts of this review will resemble a rant – because I just felt like screaming when I was reading some parts of this novel.

The way I feel it, The Edge of Never can be divided in three parts: the Good part, the Terrible part, and the Not-So-Bad part.

The Good part takes place in the first half of the book. In it, Camryn fights with her BFF, Natalie, and sets off on a road trip to nowhere – a road trip in which she meets Andrew, an adorable guy that she becomes best friends with. They have these crazy dialogues, and Andrew melts her heart – as well as my own, ahem. Basically, they fell in love.

The first 30% of this novel is just perfect. Camryn is funny, Andrew is fantastic, and they have a lot of chemistry. Their conversations are sensational. However, you get that feeling that you’re about to go head-first into something different.

Unfortunately, that “something different” turned out to be a ridiculous relationship later on. As 
I started to get to know both Camryn and Andrew better, I got the feeling I was reading the prologue of a novel about unhealthy and obsessive relationships. Let me tell you, it wasn’t a good feeling. I started to feel bothered by the way Andrew laughed all the time – it was like he was hiding who he truly was beneath that, someone strange and dangerous. I had no idea what was happening.

And then, these weird scenes came out of nowhere. You see, the sexual tension between them was heating up, and that’s understandable. They wanted each other, no arguments there. And I was okay with it. I mean, come on, this is a New Adult novel, and I already had read a lot of reviews talking about how hot some scenes were in this book. I was prepared… at least, that’s what I thought. Until they started to have these conversations about sex that were really awkward. I was embarrassed just reading about it. Talk about unrealistic. They were both falling in love with each other, and these conversations were over the top. There’s no way you can talk about sex with the guy you’re in love – and in lust – with. No freaking way!

And then they had oral sex. And it was out of nowhere, again. It was so surprising I was taken back by it. I mean, yes, you can build a lot of tension and then sort of explode it later in a very hot scene but… not that way. It didn’t work. They both refused to really sleep with each other, and when Camryn asked why Andrew didn’t want to be with her, here’s what he answered:

“If you were to let me fuck you, you would have to let me own you.”

What the hell is that? How was I supposed to feel about this? Was I supposed to fall in love with Andrew? I don’t even know. The author simply destroyed the image I had of him with that sentence. This novel turned upside down after that. Camryn and Andrew were just falling head of heels in lust with each other.

Now that I mentioned how Andrew was destroyed as a character… well. It goes beyond that sentence, actually. He was violent, didn’t have any control over his feelings (especially his anger), and was so obsessed with Camryn I just wanted to kill myself. And don’t even get started on that “babie” thing. He called her that so much it stopped being romantic and became annoying.

Here’s an example of what I just said: They were in a bar having fun, and Andrew and Camryn had played some pool. A couple of guys came up and started talking to Camryn. She politely declined their intentions, and told them she was accompanied. Andrew confirmed that she was, indeed, accompanied. The guys asked if he was her boyfriend. She said no. The guys questioned Andrew, because if he wasn’t her boyfriend, then she wasn’t actually accompanied, right?... Then Andrew just beat the shit out of them.

Okay, these guys were being stupid, but it didn’t justify Andrew’s actions. He just started to punch them like a maniac in the middle of the bar. I mean, seriously? Why did he do that? It wasn’t necessary!

Then, later on, when Camryn and Andrew were leaving the bar, here’s what happened:

Andrew stops me on the sidewalk and takes my upper-arms into his hands. “Don’t lie to me, baby, did you get hurt anywhere? I swear to fucking God if you did I’m going after them.”

Going after them again, you mean? You already beat the hell out of them!

Here’s some more examples that set alarms off in my head:

I go to wiggle my way away – not really – and he wraps his arms around my waist and just holds me there. The only time he lets me up from his lap the rest of the night is when I need to use the restroom, and he stood outside the door and waited for me.

He… waited for her outside the restroom. It’s like he doesn’t take his hands off her all the time. It’s tiring.

But the best part is when she declares – admits, actually – that’s she likes him, and wants to have a serious relationship with him.

“I want you, goddamit!” I scream at him. […] “I can’t fucking breathe without you!”
“SAY IT! Son of a bitch,” he says, exasperated, “just say it!”
“I want you to me own me!” I can hardly stand on my own anymore. Sobs rock my entire body. […]
Andrew grabs me, twisting my wrists together behind my back with one of his hands. He pulls me back harshly into his chest. “Say it again, Camryn”, he demands. […] “Fucking say it, baby.” His hand tightens painfully around my wrists.
“I belong to you, Andrew Parrish… I want you to own me...”

See what I mean, about their relationship turning into an obsessive one? I can’t even form a coherent thought about that scene. I felt disgusted when I was reading it. This is supposed to be romantic? Well, let me tell you, it wasn’t.

Camryn was just as obsessed about Andrew as he was about her.

“Andrew, I meant what I said: I can’t breathe without you. Last night, after you had been gone all day, I sat down on the edge of this bed and was literally breathless.”

Um… does this girl know the meaning of “literally”? If she’s feeling, literally, breathless, then run to the freaking hospital, not to Andrew’s arms. Just a tip, Camryn!

The last part of the book (the Not-So-Bad part ;D ) wasn’t so painful to read, but it also wasn’t good. I got to see some glimpses of the Andrew that I fell in love with, but the twist was unnecessary – even though it did make me cry at some points, and Camryn was just a mess, so I don’t know what to make out of her. There is a scene that made me want to claw my eyes out, but I can’t put it in here, otherwise I’d be revealing a huge spoiler (the twist itself) so I’ll just say I’m surprised at the kind of behavior some nurses will ignore in a hospital ;)

Overall, I have mixing feeling about The Edge of Never. I loved the first few chapters, but after I hit the 40% mark on my ebook, everything just fell apart. I didn’t like the way their relationship turned out to be, I didn’t like the way Andrew turned into an unpredictable character with anger issues, and how Camryn turned out to be an ordinary girl with submissive tendencies in just about everything in her life.

So… the big question is, would I recommend this book?

Yes, if you like New Adult books, and a young adult romance with some steam. However, if you don’t like this kind of thing, and prefer reliable main characters that have a more durable – and with more development – relationship – then go for it, but with caution. Otherwise, you’ll end up as surprised as I was, and not necessarily in a good way!


  1. Oh.. I'm not entirely sure what I even want to say here! On one hand, I can see why this has been so compulsively readable for a lot of people - in the same way Beautiful Disaster was. But, reading some of those quotes you included, I get a strong feeling this isn't my sort of book. I'd probably be squirming in my seat more often than not with this. Thanks for the helpful review!

  2. I was going to read this book and for some reason didn't. After reading your review, I am so curious! Adding this to my TBR books now!

    I loved your review and how you gave examples on why you felt a certain way! I mainly want to get this book now because of the "twist" you couldn't give away! Great review!

    Just started following you, hope you can stop by and follow back as well!